The Tragic Misadventure of Sonia Perkins
by ewgandalf
Summary: Sonia Perkins believed she was living in reality. When she wakes in Middle Earth she finds out that 'Earth' was just a figment of her imagination. Following the isolation of herself and her sister Renna, Gandalf invites them to undertake a Quest to Reclaim a Homeland and Slay a Dragon. Sonia POV. Kili/OC. Romance, Humour and slight Thriller.
1. Chapter 1: Sonia Perkins

_The Tragic Misadventure of Sonia Perkins._

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><p><span>Disclaimer:<span>

I don't own anything belonging to J.R.R. Tolkien or Peter Jackson and his crew.

Summary:

Sonia Perkins believed she was living in reality. When she wakes in Middle Earth she finds out that 'Earth' was just a figment of her imagination.

Following half a year, The parents Sonia had just begun to remember are snatched from her desperate grip, their faith worse than dead. Renna, her sister, is left to pick up the pieces as the girls are left isolated. Thankfully, Gandalf has a different plan in store for the sisters as they find out that they aren't the only ones lost as they join a company of Dwarves, a Hobbit and a wizard to slay a dragon and reclaim a homeland.

Authors Note:

The Introduction will be narrative until present time, then we'll switch over to Sonia POV.

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><p><span>Chapter 1: Sonia Perkins.<span>

A thick fog rolled in over the River Nore, windows and cars were coated in a layer of frost. It was a classic Irish morning in the small city of Kilkenny. Sonia yawned, weaving her way through her sitting room passing her mother fervently carrying a kettle to the car. For those of you who may have lived in a hot climate for all or most of your life; her mother is not offering the car a cup of tea or bringing the kettle around with her for the day. The purpose of the kettle is in fact to melt the layer of ice on the car windscreen.

After inhaling a few spoonfuls of her bowl of porridge, Sonia walked steadily if not lazily down the sidewalk from her front door to where her family parked their cars. The dry patch on the tarmacadam left by her dads car reminded her of last night. She had always loved the rain but every once in a while, something about the cloudburst pelting off the windows, the roof tiles, its force combined with the pitch black of night and the knowledge that all of her family were fast asleep something about that made her feel vulnerable. She lay wide awake that night long after it had stopped.

"Your hair looks like you drove backwards through a ditch Sonia! Didn't you brush it when I told you!" scolded her mother dropping the kettle in the hall. She grabbed a brush that had been conveniently left on the table in the hallway before joining Sonia in the car.

The car journey to school was short. Consisting mostly of Siobhan (Sonia's mother: lovely woman) chastising Sonia for getting up late. And in turn that caused them to be three whole minutes behind schedule which of course meant they were caught in the early rush-hour traffic. The last thing on Sonia's mind was the time as she stared back at her mother, she studied her face. They had the same straight nose, the same dark,dusty blue eyes and the same oval faces. Kicking open the door of their dark grey Volvo saloon and hoisting her school bag on her back, Sonia exited the car with the routine "bye, love you" answered by the "love you too, have a good day".

Judging by the strained expression that overcame her face and the apprehension in her steps, you would have thought she was advancing against her own good judgement to the gates of Hell. The dark-haired girl bit her lip she wasn't late, she never was, not that she was particularly punctual herself but her mother started work an hour before Sonia was due in class.

Her hand closed around the ice-cold door handle as she pushed through. Her steps echoing through the white corridor. The usual students were already seated chatting in the hall. Her breathing grew ragged and her heart-beat raced as she closed the distance between herself and the small crowd quicker than she would have liked. Hoping she could get past them without someone starting small talk or deciding it's absolutely hilarious to acknowledge her existence. _Be still my beating heart _she thought to herself letting out a shaky laugh. Those ignorant to the ways of individuals suffering from social anxiety probably thought it best that she be admitted to a mental asylum.

With a few quick strides and avoiding eye contact she was almost at the school bathrooms. The school had recently installed fire safe doors. Despite looking all new and clean they were like standing stones on a hinge. It had its pro's though. Besides the obvious one of it being fire safe, Sonia had never seen a class of students all come together as effectively as they did trying to push the class room doors open. With a bit of added strength she pushed the heavy door open and entered a cubical. She locked the door and slumped against the wall waiting until the first bells signalled the start of class.

It wasn't that Sonia didn't like (all) the other girls in her year, or that some didn't like her for that matter. Socializing just never came naturally to her. In her mind she was the living epitome of Tony Stark. Unfortunately she had an awful habit of coming across a lot more like Castiel on supernatural.

Her headaches had been getting worse and more frequent. Her mother had sent her to the doctor that weekend. He had been nice and she'd instantly liked him as she noticed the framed poster of Led Zeppelin behind his desk, but there wasn't much he could do but recommend some sleep.

A sharp pain in her right temple came over her suddenly. It had her head moving to the left abruptly as if someone had hit her. The pain cascaded down her face as she hit the ground. She was on the verge of screaming out in pain when a violent flurry of wind seemed to lift her from her feet until she was knocked back on a hard flat surface.

Scanning over herself quickly she did a double take. Her denim skinny jeans were about a foot too long for her and her gray converse were now big enough for her feet to slide out easily. Her black t-shirt and green plaid shirt were hanging from her frame like Harry Potter.

She felt around her face suddenly self-conscious. Everything seemed to be normal except her hair was definitely a lot thicker, her eyebrows were unkempt and her ears felt slightly larger than she remembered. Sonia clambered to her feet looking around in an odd mixture of astonishment and fear. She wasn't in her school anymore, or even anywhere she knew of in Kilkenny. Her eyes were drawn upwards to the stars in the sky, they were different, she wasn't even in Ireland. Her home, that little Island of the coast of Europe.

She had been lying on what looked like a stone table layers of what looked like animal furs. She blanched at the thought. Candles had been set into finely carved stone pillars that formed the circular outdoor room she found herself in. The floor littered with semi-rotting autumn leaves. Her bag was still clutched in her hand, looking around she noticed another bag it was more like a leather satchel like the ones she'd seen in her history books.

She sat up hurriedly and moved towards the bag as quietly as she could. It was a dark brown leather pack. Undoing the clasps she opened it up to look inside. An outfit around her size was inside, it was made of some combination of fabric and animal skins dyed a faded blue. Off-white fur-lined the inside of the jacket, a dark brown cloak buttoned to it and a pair of dark brown boots were placed neatly at the bottom of the bag. Gloves and several other smaller items had been in pockets within the bag.

Sonia looked at her surroundings it was very late in the night, she didn't see anyone not that she expected too. The coat looked a lot warmer that her shirt she mused as a cool breeze went up her spine.

Stooping she rolled up her skinny jeans thankful that they at least fitted her in width, She pulled on the leather boots from the bag after removing her converse which were a slight bit too large for her now. She tucked in her t-shirt and removed her baggy plaid shirt and replaced it with the jacket from the bag.

Content with her appearance she straightened up and looked around. Her breath caught in her throat as young woman with blonde hair took slowly climbed the few steps that led to the elevated area. She held a lantern in her hand, stepping into the candle light. She lifted her eyes to meet Sonia's as if sensing her presence. Her face took on a mixture of alarm and cheer as she smiled widely her eyes welling up with tears.

"Sonia!" she shrieked dropping the lantern. Unmoved by the shattered glass she rushed forward and threw her arms around her. "I'm so glad you're back" she breathed.

The sun had not yet come up that morning. Despite the downpour Gandalf could see the sky begin to lighten due east but it would be an hour or two yet before sunrise. News had traveled fast of the Cold-Drake that had laid the great dwarven city of Carasheim to waste, It was one of the Dragons of Angband that had no power of fire or flight.

Anything within a short distance was left motionless, forever confined within ice.

Rain pelted down from dark clouds above as his bay horse pulled to a stop. He was a few metres from the towering ornate iron gates of Carasheim. Gandalf recalled his last visit, he remembered colourful markets, dwarven children playing, the smell of freshly baked pastries, and laughter danced through the air.

The White Counsel had requested his last visit. A curious girl had seemingly appeared from another world. Her clothing was not of Middle Earth and she spoke of things no-one in middle earth could even begin to understand. He had found out however, that was not the case at all.

Strong winds now whistled through the air disrupting the falling torrent before it hit the mud-spattered ground.

Dismounting, he noticed as expected a cloaked figure slumped against gates. Another figure was pacing nearby. No matter how futile the action would be; for two young dwarves, they remained guarding the people who were quite literally frozen in time within its walls. Defending them from any who would wish to harm or loot the city. The cloaked figure had not looked up at the sound of hooves, but stayed firmly guarding the city of her ancestors.

A long thin sword caught the moonlight through the downpour as the second turned. She watched Gandalf approach, Her light blonde hair stuck to her wet face.

His voice was soft as it carried through the wind to their ears,"Sonia, Renna daughters of Gynna! Lay down your weapons friends, I come with wholly good intentions."

The blondes voice sharp as she spoke "And what exactly would that mean Tharkûn. You are late." The last part said with bitterness as she turned her back on him again.

"Hold your tongue sister." hissed Sonia from her position by the gate. "It is not his fault that this happened"

Renna whirled on Sonia "You're right for once. It's yours. If we had been here then maybe we could have done something!"

"This fate was inevitable and there is nothing either of you could have done to prevent it!" He shouted gruffly "You should count yourself lucky that you are not frozen along with your kin!"

Sonia lifted her head as her teal hood moved back to show her pale face. Eyes gazed back, vacant with a reddened outline that could only be caused by shed tears. She stood. Walking towards Gandalf, her voice slightly more civil than her sisters "Why have you come"

"My dears, I am looking for someone to share in an Adventure"

Renna turned her head towards them her dirty blonde hair dragging up into the violent flurry of wind. A look of kindling interest on her face.

Sonia's dark eyebrows furrowed together partly because of the gale as she considered Gandalf's words.

"What kind of Adventure Gandalf ?" asked Sonia.

He wrapped his cloak around himself tighter "Perhaps we should go somewhere inside, this requires a lot of attention."

She nodded in agreement. After a few moments in a quiet corner of an otherwise crowded tavern they sat around a wooden table. A single candle placed at the center, its flame danced playing with the shadows on the walls behind them.

"You are aware of the rest of your kin, are you not?" He began.

"Do you know of a way to reverse this-" said Sonia urgently, looking around to see if anyone was listening in.

"He means the Dwarves of Ered Luin" whispered Renna vehemently.

Sonia sat back from the table obviously not enough information to contribute to the conversation.

"Thorin son of Thrain, King under the Mountain has requested that I find the remaining members of his Company."

"What would a son of Durin want with us?" appealed Renna idly.

"Nothing, Nothing my dear. Thorin knows not of who I will find. I merely believe that both of you will make valuable additions to his company"

"We owe them nothing besides how do you know they will accept our help" answered Renna,

"Because Thorin Oakenshield and his kin will not be aware of your prior social position. Dwarf women are not abundant to the south of Middle Earth therefore your presence won't be entirely rejected"

"Women are not expected to fight in the south" interjected Renna

"That's a relief" muttered Sonia receiving a swift kick under the table.

Renna sat up straighter "What would we gain from this"

"I can't promise you will gain anything, but what you do gain is up to you" He pushed back his chair and studied their expressions. "I do recommend you take my offer" He said making his way to the door.

The rain had now stopped and the sun was beginning to rise. The sky was a vivid mixture of Oranges and pinks between the retreating clouds.

Sonia squeezed through the door before it shut behind him. "Where?, Where do we go, like if we take your offer ?"

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><p><strong>Hopefully that painted a clear picture of Sonia's personality. The next chapter will be introducing the company so please read! It takes a while to get into writing comfortably so I'm sorry if the first chapter seems a bit off.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2: Floating Ale

_The Tragic Misadventure of Sonia Perkins_

**Thanks to those who reviewed, Alanagh and Guest :) No Sonia and Renna do not have beards (Yet) In my story women get their beards a bit later in life. And You will just have to continue reading to find out what caused the Dwarves to split. Please Read and Review ! **

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><p><span>Chapter 2: Floating Ale.<span>

Gandalf had warned us both not to tell any of the dwarves where we were from. I knew all to well why and I had no problem being vague if they asked questions, not that it mattered much now considering the current state of our home.

Pebbles moved beneath my feet as I walked through The Shire. The evening held a soft breeze that played with my dark hair and sent shivers down my spine from time to time. Looking around myself, I hoisted my pack further up my back.

So much had changed in the past six months. Sometimes I'd wake up and expect all of this to be some sort of dream. I still had all my 'memories' from my time in Earth. I remembered all the books I had read, all the movies I had watched, school, friends and what I thought was my family. I felt like a traitor and I missed them more than my life.

I had started to gain some of my memories from growing up in Carasheim and I was copping well thanks to Renna. When she was seven years old her father was slain in battle, her mother, my mothers dearest friend, was found dead a few weeks after. Ever since she had been my sister.

A sudden strong gust of air brought my attention back to the path as I stumbled slightly caught off gaurd. The winding paths and rolling hills of the shire were soothing. Trees rose up from the ground at random and leaves and conkers littered the ground between little fences where daffodils were scattered among the high grass.

Abruptly, I let out a snort of laughter. Renna turned to look at me.

"What?!" she exclaimed suddenly self-conscious.

"Nothing that concerns you"

I had thought back to a few moments ago when I had smiled albeit overly enthusiastically at some poor unsuspecting Hobbit. His heavily crinkled eyes had squinted back at me irked. Despite my enthusiasm at being in Hobbiton having been rejected, I had trekked on unfazed.

Renna tapped my arm and indicated to something up ahead. Through the dim I spotted a glowing blue symbol etched into a round door only a few yards ahead. This round door belonged to a generously proportioned hobbit hole nestled beneath a large oak tree.

After making our way to the door, I stepped forward and knocked slightly. There was commotion deep within the house, my stomach flipped with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety, but no movement was heard on the opposite side of the door. Dammit.

I turned to Renna defeated, There was a look of dry frustration on my face as she smirked back at me. Her pale pink lips curving up towards her eyes.

_My knock probably wasn't loud enough. What if it was ? And then they all thought I was rude for knocking louder a second time. How many did Gandalf say would be here ? 12 or 13?_

Before I could ponder the struggles of a socially inept Lady Dwarf, Renna knocked harshly.

"Renna!" I whispered through gritted teeth. She smiled smugly as the door opened to a miffed looking hobbit.

Warm light spilled out to the well-maintained patio I stood on as I caught a glimpse of his hobbit hole. No. No. That defiantly didn't sound right. His underground dwelling.

Which I was thankful to find out was not an overly glorified rabbit hole.

"Renna"

"And Sonia"

"At your service." We said in unison.

I smiled brightly to make up for my blunt tone while doing a little bow. My hair found its way into my mouth distorting my expression before I straightened up once again, I looked away momentarily mortified.

Let's just move on to second impressions.

He was only slightly shorter than myself, I had noticed as I took in his neat appearance. His ears were pointed and loosely curled mousey brown hair fell around his face.

Remembering my current state, I exhaled, Suddenly overly aware of my sweaty, wind-blown face. I quickly rubbed my forehead with my sleeve. Of course Renna looked just as flawless as always. The Hobbit looked us both over and gave us a slightly pained smile before introducing himself.

"And Bilbo Baggins at yours" He stepped aside to let us both in.

I turned to observe his hole again-err nope.

Definitely not what I had expected. Smooth plastered walls curved to match the shape of the door, divided by dark brown stained wooden beams.

There was Elegant lighting throughout the hall in a variety of chandeliers and single standing candles. This accompanied by furniture littered with ornaments and parchment created a homely impression.

I unclasped my dark brown leather pack dropping it in the hall near some cloaks and many other packs. Weapons varying in size and shape were left lazily around. I nearly tripped over a large battle hammer, Wren caught my arm while she was placing her tan and fur pack down beside mine.

My conclusion was decided there and then that dwarves were a hazard.

I placed my bow neatly on top of my back with my arrows leaning against it. My long sword against the wall. I opted to keeping my hunting knives on rather than having to re-do my belts.

Renna had strapped her two matching short swords to her pack before linking arms with me as she turned to talk to Mr. Baggins. In my opinion he looked to be on the verge of a mental breakdown as a fork clattered down that hall to his large feet. He picked it up, gave it a quick wipe and put in his dressing gown pocket before turning back to Renna.

My stomach growled loudly without warning. _I hope he didn't hear that_ turning from Renna to Bilbo a sheepish look on my face. Renna looked away clearly not even wanting to be related to me in my hour of weakness.

Bilbo had heard my stomachs cry for sustenance it turns out, he raised his hands in surrender. "Just go and Help yourself"

I heard him mutter about being at his wit's end as I made for the kitchen cautiously, The short trip there was nice as I snooped around Bilbo's home momentarily. Renna practically skipped ahead of me to the festivity. With the way she had spoke to Gandalf you'd think she hated the dwarves of Ered Luin. Although from my last six months with Wren I had pretty much figured out her fondness for socialising. The other memories were all still very vague but I was piecing things together gradually.

She had filled me in on the dramatic back story that had led to the separation of the dwarves while we traveled here. Personally I think it was petty but evidently it's quite serious among the dwarves, specifically the line of Durin, the hosts of our journey.

The babble grew louder and clearer as I neared. I pulled my sleeves further over my hands and soon realized the source of Mr. Baggins frustration. Dwarves were everywhere. Carrying chairs and emptying out the pantry at an unnatural rate. The place was anarchy!

A large red haired dwarf carried three slabs of cheese from the pantry. Bilbo mentioned a cheese knife and and another dwarf with a strange hat shouted back "He eats it by the block"

I held my hands up to my face as I attempted to muffle my laughter.

Wren was already in the thick of it. She was chatting with a white-haired dwarf with a sizeable beard and a larger bald dwarf, whose arms were covered in tattoos, he handed her an ale.

How does she do that? I was never great at socializing back home, here in middle earth its even more complicated. I bit my lip slightly as I stepped back a bit only to catch Gandalfs eye. He called me over, "A very merry gathering aren't they" he commented looking down at me.

"A bit flamboyant for my liking" I muttered hoping I hadn't come across overly negative.

He laughed at my reply before continuing.

"You're far to timid for your own good my dear Sonia" He spoke handing me a fresh roll of bread. I was thankful for that, I hadn't exactly wanted to battle with some dwarves for a bit of food.

"Not always" I replied taking it with a wink, I had managed to wink successfully without looking like I had just figured out I had eyelids. I Sauntered off then proud of myself.

I took a bite from the roll. It was light and soft, with a golden crust.

I noticed that the dwarves were in fact very cheery. They created a warm and lively atmosphere, I thought to myself while exploring the hallways.

All of a sudden I walked into something very solid and hard, and fell firmly on the tiled floor.

I looked up to see a barrel of ale floating in mid-air. Nope, It was worse than that. Two dwarves were supporting either end of the barrel. Matching smirks on either of their faces at my position on the floor. The first one was blonde with numerous braids in his hair. I could tell he was struggling to contain his laughter. Dumb Dwarf. Who the hell braids their moustache am I right ?

My eyes travelled over to observe the second dwarf. Which only resulted in my cheeks pinking instantly as I struggled to normalize my breathing. He looked younger than the first. His gaze was slightly more intense than the other whose was more light-hearted. His hair was dark brown with eyes to match, unlike the other dwarves his beard was only stubble. After realizing how long I had stared my head dropped downwards instantly. Oh no, He's hot.

The darker one dropped his end of the barrel of ale, receiving an annoyed glare from the blonde as he was left to place it on the ground heavily.

He reached down and lifted me up with his warm hand effortlessly. I hope._ I really shouldn't have made it a habit of eating so many cakes and pastries in my spare time_. Oh God. Why am I being so self-conscious?

Taking the opportunity he placed a kiss on the back of my hand. Dumb Dwarf. My legs had successfully turned to jelly.

"Kili" said the darker one. "and Fili" said the fairer one as they gave me a quick bow and an "At your service" in unison.

"Sonia!" I said as evenly as I could with a bow.

"Where do you hail from my Lady Sonia ?" It was Kili who spoke.

I groaned inwardly. Really?! I didn't ask them where they hailed from. Although I knew exactly where they hailed from thanks to Renna. This just got a lot harder.

"It matters not, the city that I had once called home no longer exists the way it once had." My statement was 100% true. It may not be about the same home but I definitely wasn't lying.

Fili looked up from the barrel of ale, a look of suspicion and interest on his face. He seemed to think for a moment before patting his brothers back and indicating that they continue carrying the barrel of ale towards the dining room.

Kili hesitated obviously not as satisfied with my answer as Fili was.

"Will you be accompanying us on our quest in the hope of finding a new home ?" His voice was optimistic but slightly strained as if he hoped not to offend me in any way.

"Gandalf invited us to join the quest but the decision to join the company remains with Thorin Oakenshield" I rushed looking down at my feet. Oh God, or Mahal I think it is.. Why did they both have to stare at me as if I had two heads. Have they never met someone who wasn't confident, loud and boisterous. Probably not actually, considering their Dwarves.

"Us ?" Questioned Kili his eye brows raised slightly looking down at me. It took a moment for me to figure out what he meant.

"Oh yeah, amm, my sister is with me. You might have seen her already, or heard her.." I muttered quickly. Dammit. They probably thought I didn't want to talk to them. Well I didn't but that was my fault not theirs.

"Are you both here with anyone else ?" Asked Fili curiously.

"No, actually we were the only ones that made it out alive." I blurted out bitterly. My eyes widened slightly when I realized what I'd done, not that they would have noticed with my eyes glued to the floor. But I didn't care about the awkward atmosphere I had created as I allowed myself to remember what had happened.

_My steps echoed through the otherwise silent throne room as I left slamming the great engraved wooden doors behind me. My father's head in his hands and my mother's face stern. Her eyes bore into the back of my head as I had stormed out. Usually I would leave what ever debate I had with my new/real parents for more private circumstances. This was different, I had ignored the guards who stood on either side of the room with their long deep blue cloaks hanging behind them as I stormed in only minutes earlier._

_Maids moved out of my way with kind faces and warm smiles only to gossip as soon as I walked on past them._

_I saddled Deas hurriedly before riding out of the busy court-yard at a gallop. Her hooves clopping loudly. I didn't stop till I reached a grouping of pines. Deas slowed to a trot. I leapt from her back stumbling until I fell to the ground coughing out angry tearless sighs. I clutched tufts of grass in my fists as I knelt on the quickly freezing-over ground._

_"Sonia! Wait!" Renna rode towards me and leapt from the back of her sand coloured pony, Sandy. I know, very creative. She had named her when she was 7 years old. I had waited a few years until I started riding leaving my pony with a slightly more decorous name._

_I was in a valley, large moss green mountains rose all around me. The sky was white and vibrant bluebells were scattered through the high grass, they were each gathering a layer of ice that spread like wild fire all around me._

_I stared at the earth mesmerized as Wren placed an arm around my shoulders. I saw ice form and flow rapidly covering grass, weeds and dirt; freezing them solid. It was a sinister bliss and I felt the hair raising on the back of my neck. I stood feeling dizzy. My ears were ringing. I heard Wren gasp beside me as my mouth fell open slightly._

_"Come on Sonia, we should really go back" trying to comfort me she hugged me before standing "And we should tell someone about all this Ice"_

_Feeling anxious I paced before mounting Deas again. My pride gone as I decided to return back to the city. I nodded to Renna as I urged Deas back the way we had come._

_The ringing in my ears was soon replaced by muffled screams and wails each stopping abruptly only to be replaced by more. Renna's face was white. I felt like a bucket of ice had been dropped on me. My stomach fell and my face turned cold._

_I urged Deas on faster rubbing her speckled gray neck as her dark main whipped me in the face._

_I inhaled icy cold air and my hands suddenly craved friction. The wind stung my ears as I began to slowly climb up the bank towards the high city walls that were now frozen with a layer of thick ice with large protruding spikes. An eerie and unnatural silence hung in the air. Everything was wrong._

Tears prickled my eyes, I fought desperately to prevent them from falling as I blinked them away. Turning from the two dwarves before me as they looked downwards. I was suddenly over come by the strong desire to tell them everything. I knew that they probably understood our loss better than most people else ever would.

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><p><strong>Okay, I hope you enjoyed that! And there will be more Kili  Sonia in the next chapter along with my attempt at humour. Please Review if you want me to continue, have any ideas on what you'd like to see in the next few chapters, or helpful criticism. I'm not going to publish another chapter until I get enough reviews for this one so please please please review!**


	3. Chapter 3: Romeo and Juliet

_The Tragic Misadventure of Sonia Perkins_

**A short Chapter I know, and I'm sorry but I'm doing three presentations and they're due this week so I promise the next will be longer, Enjoy :)**

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><p><span>Chapter 3: Romeo and Juliet<span>

At this point in the night, what I had hoped was all the dwarves, were seated at the dining table. The reign of terror had begun the second I took my seat beside Renna. Food was flung in every direction and I had to dodge a mushroom and a piece of pork already. A red-haired dwarf to my right had caught a slice of meat in his mouth, all the dwarves had shouted and laughed, well they shouted about pretty much everything I had figured out.

The red-haired dwarf seated to my right proceeded to eat most of the food within reach in a truly admirable time. After gawking for a while at the obvious reincarnation of Takeru Kobayashi he turned his head to me slightly and introduced himself as Bombur. I replied with my name and a smile but he was already preoccupied with a chicken leg. I had decided I liked him.

After a few more moments of dodging food, the dwarf named Fili was now stomping over the table ducking beneath the black iron chandelier that hung above. I honestly don't know how he did that without stepping on someone's food. "Who want's an ale?" He bellowed drowning out the chaos. He bent over handing one down to me with a smile "There you go Lady Sonia" he pulled it back suddenly. Oh God. What did I do wrong now.

"Are you old enough to drink an ale ?" He inquired, half-jokingly with a friendly smile

I genuinely wasn't sure, I thought frantically of what the dwarven drinking age was. I was never that into drinking alcohol anyway, _Like when is everyone going to stop pretending it actually tastes nice?_ Renna as usual had taken it upon herself to save me during my hour of need. Regardless of what her intentions were I took the interjection gratefully.

"She is" She said standing with a smile. "And so am I" she took both ales from his hands and sat back down.

"Laddie, get off the table!" shouted the dwarf with the bald head and tattoos. Fili nodded and took his seat next to Kili who was directly across from me. How did I not notice this particular detail until now. I looked down at my plate now very interested in a potato. I am Irish after all (well I thought I was) our whole county went into famine because one little vegetable caught a cold or whatever it is that happens to vegetables. Anyway as I was saying, potatoes are sacred to Irish people. One million people died in the famine and One million people had to move to places that still had potatoes like America.

Renna nudged me while taking a drink "Do you know him ?" she whispered as she put it down. Frantically I waved her question away. Considering they were just across the table and I didn't exactly want them to over hear.

Renna left her seat and head towards the hall. I pushed my chair back sighing dramatically as I went to follow her. Kili's brown eyes met mine momentarily, he had smiled but I was already turning from him before I could return it. Great. Now he's going to think I'm horrible. It's not even that big of a deal why did she have to get all worked up over it ?

The hall was virtually empty apart from Renna.

"So" she questioned "How did he know your name ?" her mouth twitched into a slight smile as I retold my earlier encounter with the brothers. Leaving out a few things of course.

"Oh Mahal!" she did a kind of half twirl "Ha!" I was getting embarrassed all over again. Dammit. I huffed heavily leaning against the wall, which didn't actually work out thanks to Hobbit architecture.

"What's funny about that ?" I snarled partly fed up with the jeering and the fact that my habit's weren't taken into consideration when Bilbo's house was designed and built.

She turned to me slightly more serious "Nothing actually. He's from the line of Durin so it could never be"

"Oh so that's why your eager to know why he know's my name, _Juliet."_ To be honest I couldn't blame her it was a pretty good gene pool.

Ignoring my comment and very obvious reference to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet she continued "Besides these Dwarves are different from us, I might not even appeal to him"

"Nahh Renna, your beautiful" I assured as she sat down on the floor beside me.

"I know" she said simply before continuing "but usually by our age Dwarven women would have long luxurious flowing beards-"

"WHAT!?" I exclaimed my voice having gone up a few octaves. She looked at my startled expression, mirth dancing in the depths of her eyes. I had always liked her eyes they reminded me of woodlands, an elegant mixture of dark greens mixed with flecks of hazel. She turned to me replying casually "We usually get our beards a bit later"

"You better be joking" I laughed out as I touched my smooth chin.

"No, I'm not didn't you notice mothers ? probably not, she usually let her hair hang past her ears and it's only slight along her jaw" Her voice wavered slightly as we both remembered her and our home. After some time, she breathed out "How are the memories coming along Sonia ?"

I wanted to tell her I remembered everything, that all the times we played as kids, every time I learned a new lesson growing up, being with Mom and Dad and just living in Carasheim were all back. But it felt as if a thick fog hung just before everything. If I could just wave it away I could see everything. Renna did her best, telling me my life story from her point of view, throwing in the odd funny story every once in a while.

I felt like I had betrayed my mother back in earth. I remember getting on her nerves at some point everyday, we fought a lot but I always knew she loved me and I her. It felt fake now, and I couldn't help feeling bitter at everything in Middle Earth for taking that away from me. God this is getting emotional fast.

I suddenly lifted my head at the sound of two voices, standing above us, were none other than Fili and Kili. They were both smiling as Fili stepped forward addressing Renna. "I don't believe I properly introduced myself" he said, taking her hand as she stood "Fili, at your service, and this is my brother Kili" he announced placing his lips to her hand. Oh. I suddenly felt as though I was interrupting something.

"Renna o-" I could tell by the momentary shit scared expression that went as soon as it came, that she had come pretty close to giving away our ancestry. Ha haha. Mental note to tease her about it later.

"At yours and your family's!" she corrected flawlessly. hmm, apparently that was the correct response. Renna: 1 Sonia: (pretty sure it's a minus at this stage but I'll be generous) 0.

They had then waffled on asking numerous questions that I let Renna take. Of course it was all along the lines of 'Where are you from' and 'why don't you have beards' *dramatic internal scoff* like Kili could talk. Which he wasn't I had just noticed. I looked up and saw that his eye's had been on me as I had stared glassy-eyed at the floor. I had probably looked like an idiot.

His dark brown eye's studied my expression as I looked up and made eye contact with him. "Do you know how to use any weapons" he asked, with his oh so charming voice. My face reddened at the mere proximity of us and in that moment I was thankful for the golden glow the candle light dispersed through the room.

"Ahm" I coughed out testing my voice so I didn't sound like bloody Morgan Freeman "I'm aware yes, but I can't say I'm an expert but Renna is teaching me a bit" I ended lamely looking down at my feet. Not that he wasn't easy to look at I mean Hot damn have you seen his face ? Perfection. My cheeks flushed even redder as I was suddenly over come with the irrational fear that he could read my mind. Don't flatter yourself Sonia, this is not twilight.

Down the hall a bit, we each heard Bilbo exclaim loud enough for us to hear "confusticate and bebother these dwarves!" Rude Bilbo. Rude. He had then proceeded to complain about us to Gandalf, who just stood there smoking his pipe until a dwarf (with an obvious fondness for knitted cardigans and mittens) stepped out of the dining room holding a plate. His face was softer and more boyish looking than any of the dwarves I had seen so far.

"Excuse me Mister Baggins but what should I do with my plate ?" He asked politely. Before Bilbo could answer Fili called over "Give it here Ori" catching the plate that was thrown from down the hall, barely missing Renna's head as Kili pulled me out of the way. Oh sweet Jesus he was standing behind me his hand closed around my arm. I could feel his breath tickle the back of my neck despite him being at least half a head taller than me. He felt warm and I relished in the few seconds I stood there till I pulled away.

For a moment I thought this was going to turn into west side story as he dramatically stepped back and began to sing (nope) "Blunt the knives and bend the Forks" in a low voice.

All the dwarves were joining in now. Flinging Bilbo's cutlery, plates and bowls around the hall and into the kitchen where bifur washed and dried them.

Blunt the knives and bend the forks!

Smash the bottles and burn the corks!

Chip the glasses and crack the plates!

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates

Cut the cloth and trail the fat!

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!

Pour the milk on the pantry floor!

Splash the wine on every door!

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;

Pound them up with a thumping pole;

And when you've finished, if they are whole,

Send them down the hall to roll!

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Bilbo rushed into the kitchen expecting most of his precious fine china smashed on the floor, his face dropped slightly when he saw that everything was stacked neatly on the kitchen table. All of the dwarves thought this was absolutely hilarious as they laughed loudly.

Personally I thought they were all getting high off Gandalfs second-hand smoke.

They stopped laughing suddenly as two loud knocks were heard from the front door. Gandalf turned to myself and Renna gravely "He is here."

Cue The Imperil March.

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><p><strong>For those of you who don't know, The Imperil March is the Darth Vader theme music. Please Review! they get updates out faster! ;) And Thank you for Reading!<strong>


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